Ning Chen rubbed his knees on the sly.
His eye happened to fall on the two lines of poetry hanging behind the Xuan Emperor.
文能提筆安天下， 武能上馬定乾坤。
In letters you can take up a brush and settle the empire, and in arms you can mount a horse and set heaven and earth in order.
That was what he had come out with back when he was buttering the Xuan Emperor up, and he had never expected the Xuan Emperor to have it mounted and hung here.
Then he squinted hard at the line of small characters after it, because he thought he had seen his own name in there.
Presented on his knees by Ning Chen to His Majesty the Emperor of the Great Xuan… Once he could read the signature, Ning Chen did not feel well at all. When exactly had he presented anything on his knees?
Christ!!!
The shamelessness of it… Ning Chen said it inwardly.
The Xuan Emperor’s eyes were on the memorial, but he had been watching Ning Chen out of the corner of them the whole time.
He noticed the small business of Ning Chen pounding at his legs, and the corner of his mouth went up a little.
Eunuch Quan kept his head down, pleased at another man’s misfortune… Who knew why? The put-upon little look on Ning Chen’s face just made him happy!
After a while Ning Chen’s knees hurt more than he could bear.
“Your Majesty, may your subject get up? His legs have gone numb.”
Eunuch Quan started. The nerve on this fellow.
The Xuan Emperor glanced at him. “Get up if you want to get up. This emperor never told you to kneel.”
Ning Chen made a sound of assent, got to his feet unsteadily, rubbed his knees and pounded his legs. “Your Majesty, may your subject have a chair? He can’t stay on his feet.”
The corner of Eunuch Quan’s mouth twitched. What else do you want?
“Quan Sheng. Bring him a seat.”
Quan Sheng was struck dumb… Isn’t this spoiling him?
“Yes!”
He carried a chair over.
“Thank you for Your Majesty’s boundless grace!”
Ning Chen gave his thanks and sat down fast. His knees hurt too much.
The Xuan Emperor set down the memorial and looked at Ning Chen. “Next time you do something, send word to your superior first.”
With his eyes down and his manner meek, Ning Chen said, “Your subject obeys the command!”
“Ning Chen. This emperor intends to put you in charge of receiving the Nanyue embassy. Do not disappoint him.”
“Huh?”
The Xuan Emperor said heavily, “The Nanyue Kingdom is a dependency of our Great Xuan, but it has grown fast, and in the last year or two it has overstepped again and again. It is testing how far our Great Xuan will let it go.”
“On top of that there has been friction between the two over the border these last year or two, and our Great Xuan’s soldiers have lost one engagement after another, which has only made Nanyue bolder.”
“Nanyue is sending this embassy because it wants our Great Xuan to cut off the Thirty-Mile Corridor in the south and hand it over… At court now part of them are for peace and part are for war. What is your view?”
Ning Chen frowned and smiled coldly. “Nanyue is overstepping? Nanyue is plainly trying to climb onto the Great Xuan’s head and piss and shit on it.”
“Your subject has a plan that will settle the matter!”
The Xuan Emperor’s eyes lit up. “Let’s hear it.”
Ning Chen said, with a perfectly serious face, “Send all the soft-boned ones who want peace south to do the fighting. Let the war party enjoy themselves first… Then, once they’re all dead, the war party goes in, and the fighting strength goes through the roof.”
The Xuan Emperor’s expression stiffened slightly, and the corner of his mouth twitched.
The Xuan Emperor frowned. “Be serious. This emperor is talking to you seriously.”
Ning Chen’s face was entirely serious. “I am being serious!”
The Xuan Emperor had taken all he could take. “Quan Sheng. Take him out and reward him with thirty strokes of the rod.”
Ning Chen was struck dumb.
He said quickly, “Your Majesty, your subject has another plan.”
The corner of the Xuan Emperor’s mouth went up. “Let’s hear it!”
Ning Chen said, “Nanyue wants to turn things over and be master? Then fight them. Beat them until they’re calling us grandfather.”
The Xuan Emperor frowned. “That is your plan? Nanyue has strong soldiers and good horses now. If we fight, what does our Great Xuan get out of it?”
“It is a pellet of a country, nothing more. Our Great Xuan turns out able men in every generation, with soldiers in numbers and generals to spare. In wealth we crush Nanyue outright. In armies we are several times their size… The soldiers on the southern border have lost a few times, that is all. Their spirits are low and they have grown afraid of a fight.”
“Win one battle and they will have their confidence back… Nanyue relies mainly on infantry. Their cavalry and their bowmen and crossbowmen are nothing to speak of.”
“Your subject has been tinkering out another new firearm lately, called the cannon… A hundred times the power of a musket. One blast takes out a whole patch of ground. The range reaches a kilometer or two. Against infantry the killing power is annihilating.”
犯我大玄者， 雖遠必誅！
Whoever offends our Great Xuan will be put to death, however far he runs!
Every word of it rang.
The Xuan Emperor’s eyes blazed, and he fixed them on Ning Chen. “Truly? You have actually tinkered out this cannon of yours?”
Ning Chen nodded. “It is only a rough form so far. There has been no time to test it.”
“Good, good, good…” The Xuan Emperor got to his feet in his excitement. “Ning Chen, do it and hold nothing back. This emperor will back you with everything he has!”
Ning Chen nodded. “Thank you, Your Majesty!”
“Whoever offends our Great Xuan will be put to death, however far he runs! Well said… If every man in the Great Xuan had that much backbone, what bandit would dare set foot on an inch of Great Xuan ground?”
“Ning Chen, you really are a lucky star heaven sent down to this emperor!”
His Majesty was greatly pleased. “Ning Chen, if you can settle the Nanyue business… this emperor will grant you a marriage with the Ninth Princess.”
Ning Chen’s expression froze on the spot.
What is this, repaying a good turn with an injury?
“Uh… Reporting to Your Majesty! Your subject is still young, and the Ninth Princess is only fourteen. Your subject only wants to make his name by his service, and to bend his back to the work for Your Majesty until the day he dies. He has no plans to set up a household of his own for the present.”
The Xuan Emperor’s face went black. He looked left and right, could not hold it in, picked up a memorial and hurled it at Ning Chen.
“Scoundrel! How many times is this? Is this emperor’s daughter so hard to stomach? And after Huai’an spoke up for those two brothers of yours… Quan Sheng, drag him out for this emperor. Thirty strokes of the rod.”
Ning Chen twisted aside from the flying memorial and said it inwardly… I’m grateful the Ninth Princess put in a good word for my two elder brothers. But I have a word for the Ninth Princess’s elder brother too, and it isn’t a good one.
The Xuan Emperor said furiously, “Scoundrel! And you dare dodge?”
Ning Chen smiled bitterly and said quickly, “Calm your anger, Your Majesty! Your subject meant nothing of the kind about the Ninth Princess.”
“The Ninth Princess is of noble birth, born with a face to overthrow cities and kingdoms, frank and lovable in her nature… What is your subject? What standing has he to turn up his nose at the Ninth Princess?”
“It is only that your subject came up out of the country, that his manners are rough, and that nothing wearies him like ceremony and fuss… If he married the princess he would certainly be neglectful somewhere and make her unhappy.”
“As the saying goes, when a household is at peace everything prospers. If the house is all flying chickens and leaping dogs, with feathers over the floor… how is your subject to give his mind to easing Your Majesty’s burdens, and bend his back to the work until the day he dies?”
“Your Majesty, your subject is not worthy of her. The Ninth Princess deserves better!”
The Xuan Emperor stared at him and said nothing.
Every sentence of it sounded reasonable enough, and still he could not shake the feeling that Ning Chen was turning up his nose at his daughter.
The truth was that Ning Chen was not turning up his nose at the Ninth Princess. It was the ceremony and fuss of the imperial house he could not stand, all those rules… this one too long and that one too short, and every bit of it a production.
The Xuan Emperor asked mildly, “Do you mean that from the heart?”
Ning Chen’s face was entirely serious. “Your subject would not dare deceive Your Majesty. Every word of it is from the heart… With a nature like your subject’s, if it were not for Your Majesty’s favor he would have died eight hundred times over by now.”
“If the Ninth Princess married your subject, and one day he angered Your Majesty, his own death would be no loss. But if it dragged the Ninth Princess down with him, he would die with his eyes open.”
The Xuan Emperor’s face eased a great deal, and for no reason he could name he was oddly pleased with himself… So you do know it is this emperor’s favor that has kept you alive until now, boy?
“Since you know what your own nature is, you should guard against pride and temper from now on, and anger this emperor less.”
“Still, it is something that you were thinking of Huai’an. This emperor has wronged you there… The truth is that Huai’an is bright and lively, and there is not so much ceremony and fuss about her.”
“Enough. This is a season of troubles. We will take the matter up again later.”
The Xuan Emperor waved a hand as he said it.
He paused, then spoke again. “Ning Chen, hurry that cannon of yours along… This emperor will have the Minister of War give you his full cooperation.”
“Remember, the same as with the muskets. Every part forged separately, then assembled.”
Ning Chen bowed quickly. “Your subject obeys the command!”
“Very well. Go down and prepare properly. The Nanyue embassy arrives in a few days… This emperor will have Li Hanru, Director of the Hanlin Academy, and Shen Min, Vice Minister of Rites, assist you. Ask them whatever you do not understand.”
“Yes. Your subject withdraws!”
Ning Chen took a few steps, stopped short, and turned around. “Your Majesty, may your subject ask Eunuch Quan for a favor?”
“What favor?”
“Well…”
The Xuan Emperor said, “What is all this hemming? If you have something to say, say it.”
Ning Chen said, “Your subject would like Eunuch Quan’s help finding a few medicinal herbs. He has been to several apothecaries without finding them, and thought the palace was sure to have them.”
“Herbs? Are you hurt somewhere? Is something wrong with you? Let this emperor have an imperial physician take a look at you.”
There was concern in the Xuan Emperor’s face.
“Thank you for Your Majesty’s concern. Your subject is not hurt, and nothing is wrong with him.”
The Xuan Emperor made a sound of assent. “Quan Sheng. Go and fetch them for him.”
“This servant obeys the command!”
Eunuch Quan looked at Ning Chen. “Young Master Ning, write down the herbs you need and this eunuch will go and fetch them for you.”
Ning Chen took out the prescription. “I have it written out already. I’ll trouble Eunuch Quan to make me up a hundred-odd doses, and that will do. No need for a great many.”
The corner of Eunuch Quan’s mouth twitched. A hundred-odd doses? Do you mean to live on them?
When he took the prescription Ning Chen held out and glanced at it, he went rigid all over… A few herbs? The thing is packed solid. Dozens of them at the very least.
The Xuan Emperor was curious. What does Ning Chen want with so many doses?
“Bring it here and let this emperor look.”
Eunuch Quan quickly passed the prescription from his own hands into the Xuan Emperor’s.
The Xuan Emperor ran his eye over it and looked at Ning Chen. “What sickness does this prescription treat?”
Ning Chen said with a smile, “Reporting to Your Majesty! The prescription is not for treating anything. Your subject got it from a man of the jianghu. It can be taken by mouth or applied to the skin… They say it fills up a man’s blood and breath, puts a hundred times the spirit into him, and makes him lively as a dragon and a tiger.”
“Your subject will try it first. If it really works, Your Majesty could take it too.”
The Xuan Emperor could not help laughing at him. “You believe what a jianghu swindler tells you.”
“Your Majesty, the man is no jianghu swindler… By the account of the old madam of the courtesans’ quarter, he came to the quarter and went ten days without getting out of bed, and better than a dozen girls through the room. Fierce is not the word. The only reason he could take several women a night and never let his spear drop was this prescription. Afterward he had no silver to settle the bill, so he—”
Ning Chen was just hitting his stride when he heard Eunuch Quan cough a few times.
Eunuch Quan had absolutely nothing to say. This fellow… standing in front of His Majesty, and anything at all comes out of his mouth.
Ning Chen gave an awkward laugh. “Your Majesty’s pardon. Your subject spoke out of turn!”
The Xuan Emperor stared at the prescription in his hand, and his eyes brightened a little.
There is no help for a man once he reaches middle age. When he first came to the throne he could still favor a woman every night. Later the affairs of state grew heavy, and with the years his body was worse every day than the day before.
Thinking back, the last time he had gone to the harem was ten days ago and more.
“Quan Sheng. Go and make up the medicine for Ning Chen.”
“Yes!”
Once Eunuch Quan was gone, the Xuan Emperor looked at Ning Chen. “Ahem… Ning Chen. If the medicine works, tell this emperor.”
Ning Chen blinked, and then began to laugh. Heh heh heh.
The Xuan Emperor’s old face went red. “Shut your mouth!”
With his eyes down and his manner meek, Ning Chen said quickly, “If it works, your subject will certainly tell Your Majesty.”
The Xuan Emperor made a sound of assent.
(End of Chapter 181)