The Freedom Queen Yingluo, her expression serene, her heart still as a mirror-lake.
At Yue Yang’s arrival, she didn’t shut him out as she had before, only casting a light glance from those eyes that had no focus, no fixed point of sight. Her eyes surely couldn’t see—yet these blind eyes could pierce clear through the world, and could see all the way into the depths of his soul… Before any powerhouse in the world Yue Yang felt no shame; even where the time-crosser fell short of others in every skill, at thick-facedness he was certain never to lose.
Only before this Freedom Queen—
—was there a certain not-quite-at-ease feeling in his heart.
And this was not on account of her strength, but of her character, her realm, and her kindness.
Surely nowhere in the world was there anyone who pitied all living beings, and understood how to pity them, more than this Freedom Queen. And this kindness and pity of hers was not the kindness of the weak or the foolish, nor the pity of mere sympathy and salvation…
It was a pity of a higher realm.
A pity that had reached the divine realm, or even higher.
For humankind, she did not regard suffering as a bad thing; on the contrary, she held that people’s suffering was in truth a tempering toward godhood, a good chance to be elevated, and also a path to being lifted to the divine realm where one suffered nevermore. Yet amid people’s pain and confusion, she would still give those suffering souls comfort and aid.
Knowing full well those people’s suffering was a tempering, yet because it was too painful, she pitied the people in their torment all the same.
Yue Yang had once asked her—
—wasn’t that a contradiction?
But the Freedom Queen at the time had answered with a smile: some things, though you know them to be wrong, you do anyway—so long as the act springs from the heart, that is enough.
Before going to fight the Solar King on the central island of the Wind-Stilling Marsh, Yue Yang had once talked with her, and it was precisely because of the enlightenment of her realm that Yue Yang had been struck as if by a splash of ambrosia over the crown of his head, suddenly grasping the truth of humans and gods, his heart-realm greatly elevated. In the end, with Yue Yu’s assistance, he cultivated, comprehended, and rose, achieving the purest water and the most perfect fire. Without the Freedom Queen’s enlightenment, Yue Yang surely wouldn’t have gained that elevation so quickly.
Though on the surface the Freedom Queen played no decisive part in Yue Yang’s fierce battle against the Solar King—
—in truth, well before the fight began, her enlightenment had already set in motion a butterfly-effect of benign momentum!
After defeating the Solar King—
—Yue Yang had brought the Freedom Queen, whom Cang Long had struck senseless to the ground, into the Grimoire World.
This act carried a touch of selfishness, but Yue Yang harbored no thought of pushing her down or anything of the sort; he simply wanted to keep this Freedom Queen here, to stop her from wandering everywhere, wearing away her life-energy for nothing—for that quagmire of a war in the Tianhua Domain, for a handful of ant-like weaklings and cowards.
Later still, Fengxian and the Southern Wilderness Demon King took over the Tianhua Domain, and that war-mire of a Tianhua Domain gradually improved, giving all the more reason not to let her leave.
And the Freedom Queen did not resist.
On the contrary, she stayed. Apart from occasionally discussing runes or ancient secret manuals with the Sick Beauty and Yue Yu, she spent most of her time in quiet thought. She who was without desire, without seeking, still as an ancient well unrippled—how on earth had Inan and Yue Bing persuaded her? And she who hadn’t outright refused—would she wait until Yue Yang arrived, then frankly lay out how it had gone, taking the reason she couldn’t well refuse Inan and Yue Bing and using it to keep him at a thousand miles’ distance?
“I’ve come!” Yue Yang, for his part, had already braced himself for the worst.
“This while past, I’ve often been thinking.” The Freedom Queen Yingluo, contrary to Yue Yang’s imaginings, didn’t send him packing, but emerged from her heart-lake and, as though chatting with a good friend, calmly poured out her inner world. “Because I’ve had nothing to do, I’ve thought a great deal.”
“So—what have you been thinking about?” Had it been anyone else, Yue Yang, for his part, would surely have cracked a joke: with nothing to do, you could give it a rub to pass the time; or he’d have furtively offered to introduce her to that renowned, dedicated, selfless, virtuous-and-skilled Teacher Cang… But before the Freedom Queen, he was more proper than before the Night Empress or the Supreme, and wouldn’t wear that grinning, cheeky face.
“I’ve been thinking about whether the end of one life is the beginning of another.” At the Freedom Queen Yingluo’s words, Yue Yang broke into a heavy sweat.
“Something this profound—let’s leave it to the experts to study.” Yue Yang hurriedly waved a hand, unwilling to discuss it at length.
“Indeed, there’s little meaning in probing such things; I’m not out to do academic research. I’m more concerned with release. I’ve been wondering—if life ends, is that a release? And if it is also the beginning of another life, then perhaps it isn’t release, but the start of greater happiness, or greater suffering. At any rate, it cannot be that release which is wholly without attachment, all things utterly seen through, without the least drag or muddle, empty-bright and perfectly whole.” The Freedom Queen Yingluo sighed faintly. “In some small corner I can imagine, associate, seek out—or say, pursue—that release; but I also understand that perhaps, in this lifetime, I’ll never reach that realm.”
“You don’t seem like a pessimist, though?” Yue Yang was puzzled. “You’re quite free and unfettered as it is, living just fine—what’s there to be dissatisfied with?”
“I’m not dissatisfied. But in my heart there’s always a strange feeling—not a demand, either; perhaps a thought that goes beyond mere fancy; or perhaps, just as you say, I think too much.” The Freedom Queen shook her head slightly.
“Release…” Yue Yang began to knit his brows—then suddenly they smoothed out, and his face broke into a smile, like dark clouds parting for the sun.
“It always seems as though you find answers with particular ease. Could you tell me?” The Freedom Queen Yingluo had known since the Wind-Stilling Marsh that this odd fellow Yue Yang was the most perceptive she’d ever seen. Including herself, one might understand a certain principle yet not necessarily comprehend it into the Way; but he could not only convert it to sudden enlightenment—he could put it into practice. To call him a prodigy and a monster was not the least exaggeration.
“Put it this way: every realm has a different way of release.” Yue Yang tried an example. “Take an ordinary commoner—the burden of living bows his back with weariness. Work, food and clothing, income, expenses, livelihood, all of it presses on him unbearably. To keep his wife and children fed and warm, day after day he toils and rushes about, never once free to stop and catch his breath… If, one day, all these things were resolved for him, that would be a release. Say a windfall from the sky—he gets a million; food and clothing are no longer a problem, and in an instant the bitter weariness in his heart is washed clean away, filled full with joy. Such a man could be called in a state of release! And by contrast, getting a million in money is, for another person, no release at all—rather a bitter weariness!”
“For instance?” The Freedom Queen hadn’t expected Yue Yang to illustrate it this way, and suddenly felt an inquiring interest.
“Ah—getting a million bringing no happiness, no release: say that person isn’t a commoner struggling on the food-and-clothing line, but an artist. A renowned master who forgets sleep and meals for his creations; what he needs is quiet and inspiration, not so vulgar a thing as money.” Yue Yang tried the example.
“Put that way, an artist who gains inspiration in his creation—that’s a release?” the Freedom Queen asked thoughtfully.
“That—yes and no.” Yue Yang’s answer suddenly took a sharp turn.
“Mm?” The Freedom Queen was intrigued.
“Because, as I just said, every level has its own release, and likewise every level has its own suffering. Take the commoner struggling on the food-and-clothing line: his bitterness is the pressure of living, the crying children waiting to be fed and the wife’s earnest hopes—a heavy burden he cannot be released from yet longs to be. This release is the easiest to achieve; for those of higher living standards and greater strength, it’s no problem at all, because with money you can easily be released from that heavy burden! But the other level, artistic creation, isn’t so simple—that’s no problem money can easily solve!” Yue Yang paused, then went on. “Of course, in this world there are things far harder to be released from than the bitter knot of artistic creation—and not just one kind, but thousands upon thousands. Like you—you too have something you wish release from; you don’t even know what to do to release yourself… Or you might say, people mired in a predicament, whatever their station, are all confused by the predicament they face, unable to find release.”
“That makes sense.” The Freedom Queen affirmed Yue Yang’s account, then asked, “The onlooker sees clearest—so could you give me an opinion?”
“Of course I can!” Yue Yang, for his part, grew cheerful. “Do you want to hear the truth, or a lie?”
“Hey—can you be a bit serious?” Toward Yue Yang, for his part—who’d carelessly let his true colors slip—the Freedom Queen was a touch speechless. Can’t you not be so pleased with yourself, classmate? Call you fat and you start puffing yourself up?
“Actually, if you want release, it’s very easy—just be an ordinary person.” Yue Yang hurriedly reined in his horse, careful not to stray off topic, returning to his earlier state of a president’s inaugural address flowing without pause. “If you were a lowest-rung commoner still struggling on the food-and-clothing line, striving for your two daily meals, then release would be very easy—I’d just give you a million!”
“The problem is, here I want for neither food nor clothing—giving me a million really wouldn’t have any effect!” The Freedom Queen couldn’t help a lovely smile at this.
“Ah, that’s because you still take yourself for the Freedom Queen, savior of the suffering, worshipped by the myriad people. If you cast off that old identity and become an ordinary girl, then you’ll find there are many things in life worth rejoicing and grieving over. By then you’ll have a sense of happiness you’ve never had before. You might, over some one thing, cry out in delight, so joyful you can hardly wait to sing and dance on the spot, for no other way could express the excitement in your heart; and you might, over some one thing, weep bitter tears, grieved beyond all measure, wishing in your heart you had a thousand, ten thousand friends beside you to comfort you—or wishing you could set right something you’d done, though it cost you ten million times over… If you’re willing to hear it, I’ll say it bluntly: you don’t at all resemble a normal person right now—more like a demigod looking down upon all beings! In your heart there’s neither grief nor joy; you regard the teeming multitudes as ants, look down upon all the earth, see clear through the truth of the world and the world of the heart. How could a you like that ever feel happiness and joy? And with no happiness and joy, what is there in this life to pursue? A you without even anything to pursue—how could you ever attain release in life?” Yue Yang at last drew a conclusion. “Yingluo, your greatest flaw is that you have nothing at all that needs release—and so you cannot attain release!”
“…” The Freedom Queen was dumbstruck. She’d never dreamed the final answer Yue Yang gave would be this.
“Impressive, aren’t I? Starting to admire me a little now, hm?” Yue Yang, for his part, felt he’d performed above his usual level this time, and couldn’t resist a round of self-praise.
“You think it’s still possible for me to become a normal, ordinary girl?” The Freedom Queen shook her head with a sigh.
“If you trust me!” Yue Yang, for his part, thumped his chest—no problem giving his all for the cause!
“So this is what you came here for today, isn’t it?” The Freedom Queen finally caught on.
“You wrong me—before I came, I truly hadn’t thought of discussing this topic.” Yue Yang hurriedly protested his innocence—and in fact, this was a rare bit of truth from him.
“Never mind me—tell me about yourself.” With those eyes that saw clear through the world of the heart, straight to the soul, the Freedom Queen “looked” at Yue Yang and asked, “Have you ever considered that this Human Valley gate, this ordeal, is in truth an opportunity? That only by passing this trial can you be accelerated in your elevation?”
“That I’ve certainly considered—not just Human Valley, but every gate; or rather, every little drop of daily life!” Yue Yang laughed. “I made my preparations long ago to meet everything in the trial, and to reflect on the small things of life, and through such comprehension to reach higher realms and elevate myself. It’s you, rather—Freedom Queen Yingluo—have you ever considered that this too is a trial in your life, this too an opportunity in your living? You can of course refuse outright as before, and go on being that old you who has no self. But if you keep on like that, you’ll only forever be as you are now—with nothing needing release, mired in a release-less confusion, forever wandering, forever without any goal of elevation or reaching the far shore, without even the most basic pursuit, without even the least happiness and joy!”
“…I truly never thought of it this way…” The Freedom Queen was astonished, and after a long while, dipped a slight bow of thanks to Yue Yang. “Thank you. When Inan and Yue Bing came here, I still had a kind of half-grasped, half-lost confusion—but now, I understand completely!”
Her words were not yet finished.
A radiance welled up from her body.
At first an exceedingly faint, soft glow, gurgling like spring water, gradually widening, until at last the light blazed glorious.
It became a resplendent, magnificent pillar of light, rising from the crown of her head straight to the firmament.
Soundless.
Yet in an instant it engulfed the whole Grimoire World.
Yue Yang, at the closest quarters, seemed to hear from the depths of his heart a kind of “soundless music of heaven.” His body, bathed in the radiance, was wonderfully at ease; his whole being seemed all at once to grow pure, not a single stray or idle thought welling up, pure and simple, wholly a stretch of calm and peace. Above the Freedom Queen’s head, within the radiance, drifted the image of a goddess of surpassing beauty, who bent down in a posture of peerless grace, spread arms white and flawless as jade, and gently, gently, embraced the Freedom Queen Yingluo below, eyes closed in her sudden enlightenment…
(End of Chapter)