A middle-aged man popped up beside me out of nowhere with a scowl on.

He wore a nobleman’s horsehair hat with a jade ring on the band, and ivory-white silk robes cut sharp. (TL Note: 옥관자 — the ring that fastened the hat band was carved from a different material for each court grade; jade marked the top ranks, so wearing it was a visible claim to standing.)

Everything about him said I am a gentleman of high rank.

But what was this?

Why were there two gods???

This had never happened before, and I looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Little brother! What kind of talk is that! I plainly heard this poor creature’s call and answered it, nothing more. I have done nothing unlawful!”

“Elder brother, that banner of yours is the problem to start with! First in Heaven, Knower of All Ten Thousand Things—you got cited for that under the false advertising statute. You know perfectly well the High Court of the Emperors on High ruled you can’t use it, and here you are bedazzling a young soul with it~.”

“What nonsense! Say what you like, there is such a thing as tradition, and customary law deserves respect too!”

“Take that up with the Emperors on High, they’re the judges. Keep hanging that thing out and I’m reporting you on the spot.”

“Nngh… All right, all right. The man has no patience whatsoever…”

With that, the banner vanished, just like that.

Lawbreaking was dangerous up in heaven too, apparently.

“Elder brother. Don’t you know what fair play is? None of us has anything, so let’s not get greedy. The other immortals laugh at us.”

“Let them laugh! Does their laughing hand me any points? All I need is points!”

“Ugh… Talking with you, elder brother, wears my mouth out.” (TL Note: Korean says a pointless argument makes your mouth hurt — the effort is all on your side and none of it lands.)

Somehow this sounded a lot like conversations I’d heard among humans.

Same line of thinking as money solves everything.

“Um, excuse me… who are you?”

I looked at the middle-aged immortal who’d just arrived.

One of his eyes was covered with a patch.

His face was neither handsome nor homely.

“I am called Park Yu-bong, and in the last days of Joseon I had the run of the world.”

“Huh? Who?”

“You don’t know the Heungseon Daewongun?”

“I do.”

“Then you don’t know the great face reader who saw in his son Gojong the makings of a king?”

“Hmm… I feel like I’ve heard of him… and also like I haven’t.”

I’d never had any reason to care about that kind of detail.

It isn’t a question that shows up in the history textbook.

“Once, while the Daewongun’s wits were still sharp, he listened to me and went from strength to strength. But…”

As he looked back, regret gathered around the immortal Park Yu-bong’s eyes.

“The Daewongun would not hear me a second time, and by that he committed a great crime against history and against his own house.”

“About what, exactly?”

This sort of thing is fun.

Unofficial history from the Joseon dynasty.

The past as the gods tell it has the savory flavor of an old woman’s bedtime story.

“The first was Queen Min. I read her face and warned him off three times. Her fortune had the in-laws’ power running strong in it. And she had the temperament of a man of great affairs—a destiny that would make light of her king and her elders.” (TL Note: 민비, Queen Min, is the wife of King Gojong, known formally as Empress Myeongseong; the Heungseon Daewongun was Gojong’s father, who ruled as regent for him. Which of her names a speaker uses depends on what he thinks of the woman.)

“Ah! So that’s what happened.”

“And when Gojong’s firstborn, Prince Wanhwa, was born and he asked about naming him crown prince, I warned him off. The boy’s face was not the face of a long life, and still he dug in his heels…”

Prince Wanhwa—now I remembered.

The tragic prince who got caught in Empress Myeongseong’s scheming and left the world at thirteen.

“Wow! That’s impressive! To think you’re a face reader with that kind of power…”

“I say it myself, but I read my own face too. That face could rise to office only with one eye gone—so I put out an eye myself.”

“…That’s impressive.”

The word ruthless flashed through my head.

A man who’d thrown away his own eye to get ahead didn’t look sane to me.

“Impressive, my foot! Later he wagged his tail at Queen Min and got handed the poison cup! What business has a face reader calling himself one when he can’t read his own death? You have to foresee your own dying day, like me—that’s a true face reader! Ahem~.” (TL Note: 사약 — poison sent from the king to a condemned official, who was expected to drink it and die in his own home. It counted as a mercy, since the alternative was public execution.) (TL Note: 명함을 내밀다, to hold out your name card — to claim the title, to put yourself forward as the thing you say you are.)

“That was because I didn’t know how the world worked back then! I read the person’s face; all I missed was the tide of the times! And what good did it do you to call the Imjin War right, elder brother? Not one scholar after you would listen, so all your drawing came up empty!” (TL Note: 헛물을 켜다, to drink at an empty well — to go to all the trouble and come away with nothing.)

“What nonsense! How was I to educate a pack of ignorant fools who couldn’t take it in!”

“Which is why rank matters. Junior sixth grade, what is that? You want at least junior third, like me, before the youngsters give your words any weight~.” (TL Note: Joseon’s civil service ran nine numbered grades, each split into senior and junior; junior sixth was a county-magistrate sort of post, junior third was well up into the court proper.)

“A man who drank the poison cup, bragging about that!”

“Everyone dies once anyway. What makes a life is living one stretch of it in style!”

“I’ll pass on poison drinkers!”

“Hmph! And I’ll pass on men with no grade to their name!”

“Hey! What’s a man’s grade matter now! Right this minute you and me are both beggars with our karma points run dry!”

“Oh my! Big brother! I still got me a little bit of points left~. We ain’t the same class~.”

This conversation, really…

My head throbbed all at once.

These two looked a few levels below every god I’d met so far.

“Both of you—hold on a second!”

I raised my voice at them.

All I’d done was call in a god to get an ability I needed right now.

I hadn’t asked for a circus like this.

The two of them turned their eyes on me.

“Don’t the two of you need my karma points?”

“…”

Only then did the circus go quiet.

With gods as with humans, age really does seem to be just a number.

There’s no difference between an immortal of several hundred years and one barely a century old.

“I’ll take it that you both know your business when it comes to face reading. Correct?”

“Of course! Face reading means Gyeogam Nam Sa-go!”

“What nonsense! I rose to junior third grade on face reading—I’m the better man!”

“That wasn’t real skill! You never sat the examinations, you got it by flattery!”

“Flattery is a skill too!”

“Enough! How did the two of you become immortals? From here on, if you fail my interview… there’s no contract. So answer my questions with nothing but the truth.”

At the word interview, the two immortals froze.

Try to get it for free and you’ll pay for it!

Gods and humans alike, the way you grow is through competition.

I settled into a comfortable position.

The immortal interview got going for real.

“I gave the people the Ten Places of Refuge, where they could escape calamity and upheaval. Thanks to that, a lot of people came through the Japanese invasions and every other disaster. That is what made me an immortal.” (TL Note: 십승지, the Ten Places of Refuge — ten valleys named in Korean prophecy books as the only safe ground when the country falls apart. People really did move to them in wartime, and some of the villages are still there.)

The immortal Gyeogam Nam Sa-go said it proudly.

That is a solid ability by any measure.

“And a lot of good it did! Think how many frauds since have made a living selling those Ten Places to people!”

“Little brother, you don’t say a thing like that! Is it my fault? When people run at a swindle like their lives depend on it, how am I supposed to stop them? Not even the Emperor on High could!”

I didn’t know the details, but apparently there were people out there making a business of the Ten Places of Refuge.

“And how did you rise to immortal, Immortal Park Yu-bong?”

“I rose on the strength of honest counsel given for the good of the country. Through the Daewongun I got several national projects under way. Most of them failed because of Queen Min, but the karma points of the people who benefited carried me up. Little brother! If it weren’t for Queen Min… I could have made the upper court!”

The immortal Park Yu-bong’s grudge against Empress Myeongseong stabbed the sky.

“Little brother, why do you wear a jade ring, anyway? That headgear is not fit for a man of junior third grade!”

“I bought it with my own karma! Can’t I even do that much as I please in the world of the immortals? If it galls you, elder brother, buy one yourself!”

They called each other elder brother and little brother, but their tone was pure combat.

These two might have topknots, but I was starting to think they weren’t real grown-ups.

When they got worked up, they slid thick into country dialect too.

“All right, understood for now. Next we move on to the skills test proper.”

“Name it! I’ll show you!”

“Heh heh heh. This is my specialty. Newer model beats elder brother~.”

The two immortals had killer pride about their face reading.

“Read my face for me.”

“What? Your face?”

“Hmm……,”

The two of them scowled at the question I’d set.

“Why can’t you see it?”

“Well, the thing is…”

The immortal Park Yu-bong looked stuck.

“Good grief! There’s a past and there’s no past, there’s a life here now and there’s no life now… What is this? Are you an immortal too?”

“What? Me, an immortal???”

I’m an immortal? No way! I’m a human being!

And so my little test failed.

The immortal Park Yu-bong summed up my face in a single line.

Nothing was fixed.

He said my past life couldn’t be seen, and that the face of my present life was far too short to read.

Face reading, it turned out, showed past, present and future all laid out inside a face.

I took the ability off the two of them, Nam Sa-go and Park Yu-bong, at the lowest auction price there is.

As a bonus, I picked up the immortal Nam Sa-go’s geomancy on top.

I split the karma points I had left between them fairly.

They must have been living dirt poor, because the pair of them were moved to actual tears over points that didn’t amount to much.

They confessed it was the first time in a good hundred years that either of them had earned points.

They left me some advice(?) about not throwing points around and saving instead.

The two immortals bowed their heads to me and thanked me, delighted.

Now I knew for certain which road I had to walk.

In life, money is best; in death, karma points are number one.

Money and karma points!

Those two are all I plan to look at from here on.

“Why do you suddenly ask about dreams?”

Robert Ryan looked at me and asked, puzzled.

Instead of answering, I studied him quietly.

The Middle Peak, the bridge of the nose, runs thick and full on the downward slope—the type who succeeds in his later years. The South Peak, the forehead, is broad at the top but narrow between, which also points to success that comes late. The East Peak, the side of the face, is neither flat nor jutting, which means an even temper. (TL Note: Face reading divides the face into regions with fixed names: the Five Peaks, the Twelve Branches for the present state, the Six Regions for the ages of a life. Each bone and hollow in them has its own name and its own meaning, which is what Tae-san is reeling off.)

The reading rolled right along.

Face reading is built on the Five Peaks, the five summits of the face.

The West Peak, the cheek and the cheekbone, make a rounded ridge too, so the man has the goodwill of others. Only the North Peak, the jawbone, comes to a point, so family is a destiny that slips through his fingers… children and household will not run smooth in his later years.

Good enough to lay out a mat by the road and not starve. (TL Note: 돗자리를 깔다, to spread out a mat — to set up as a fortune-teller; a street reader works sitting on a mat.)

The Six Regions, which govern the fortunes of each age, say no different. The two Supporting Bones and the Spirit Bone come into full flower from his early fifties. At forty-nine, this is the year that fortune comes around to him. By the shape of the Supporting Pavilion, Heaven’s Granary, the brow bone and the Earth Pavilion, the help of a great man met late in life will bring him every blessing until he dies of old age~.

The reading was all fine, but the way it talked really grated.

I was the one doing the reading, and the two immortals’ speech had soaked right into it.

And that finished the reading of Robert.

The Twelve Branches of the face tell the present state… the outer corners of the eyes lift a little, so his constitution is strong, and his conviction, his drive and his judgment are bold more often than not. The ridge of his nose is large and fleshy, which means diligence. The mouth that looks pointed at first glance says he is strict with himself and fair with others but short on luck with descendants… and the hanging earlobes prove all over again that wealth comes to him late. The sloped brows carry warmth and nerve, perfect for working in politics and business. By the jutting forehead, he has a way with words and quick wits. And…

Robert’s past, present and future were stripped bare down to the last corner.

The face you’re given at birth is the karma of your last life, the face that changes as you live is the karma of this one, and the final face, changing still, is the shape of the life to come.

By that reckoning, Robert meeting me is inevitable.

The two of us meeting is a bond heaven tied.

By the face reading I picked up from those two immortals, Robert will never betray me.

On top of that he has a fine tongue and the nerve to use it, perfect for handling American politics and American business.

His wealth and standing are all bunched at the end of his life too.

The synergy with me is going to be tremendous.

“Looking at you, Robert, I’d say you’ve lost your dream and you’re wandering.”

“What? Me?”

“No? It’ll sound strange coming from someone you’ve just met, but this looks like the hardest stretch of your life. Your family has scattered, your money has hit bottom and left you poor, and the people you knew in your old circles won’t even admit they know Robert.”

“!!!”

What’s my uncle here so shocked about.

“H-how could you know that?”

“I didn’t have you investigated. This is that mysterious Eastern discipline, face reading.”

“Ah! Physiognomy!”

He was high-quality talent who’d run around Wall Street, so he caught on right away.

“Take heart. You’re going to meet a great man.”

“Really? Is there still hope for me?”

Robert’s eyes shone.

“Yes~. Hope is spilling over the sides.”

“Thank you for saying so, at least. Being with you, sir, somehow makes me feel full of energy.”

That’s compatibility for you! Character compatibility!

Compatibility isn’t only a man-and-woman thing; between any two people there’s what clashes and what nourishes.

Robert and I had drawn the highest nourishing match there is.

“Let’s talk over the coffee.”

Clara read the moment and cut in nicely.

“Thank you, Clara~. So now I finally get to drink the coffee Matthew raved about.”

“Professor Matthew’s mouth was… very inexpensive~.” (TL Note: Clara upgrades a common Korean phrase — a person with a “cheap mouth” gossips and can’t hold anything in — by swapping in a fancier word for cheap.)

“Is that so? Hahahaha.”

Robert broke into a wide grin.

“Mr. Daniel, is the interview still going on?”

“You’ve passed.”

“What??? P-passed?”

Robert had been drinking his coffee, and he jolted upright.

“Is there a problem?”

“No, it’s only that there hasn’t been time for me to set out my case…”

“I’m counting on you, Director Robert.”

“Director!”

Robert’s eyes flew wide open.

“Why, not enough for you?”

“Not at all! I will serve you with all my faith and loyalty, sir!!!”

Robert looked at me, overcome, his eyes brimming.

Yes—this is it!

I liked Robert too.

Uncle Robert here has struck gold~.

Heaven flowing with money and honey is yours now. Hahahahahaha.

— Karma points acquired.

(End of Chapter 62)