“Ning Chen, how is that head of yours put together? You can write poems, and you can cobble together something this deadly?”

“Ning Chen, make me one of these, would you?”

“Get out, get out… I did plenty to help get this thing built. If anybody’s getting one made, it’s me first.”

They crowded around Ning Chen laying the flattery on thick, every one of them wanting a musket.

“Enough. Get back to whatever you were doing… Ning Chen, you’re coming with me into the palace to see His Majesty.”

Geng Jing sent them all off with a bark and took Ning Chen straight to the palace.

The killing power of this thing was far too great. His Majesty had to know about it.

The Xuan Emperor was going through memorials in the Hall of Cultivated Heart.

A young eunuch came in, knelt, and said in a low voice, “Reporting to Your Majesty. Lord Geng requests an audience, and has brought Ning the Silver Coat.”

The Xuan Emperor set down the memorial, and a smile came onto his face before he could help it.

He could not have said why. But the moment Ning Chen was mentioned, his mood lifted for no reason at all.

“Send them in.”

“Yes!”

The young eunuch withdrew.

Before long, Geng Jing came into the Hall of Cultivated Heart with Ning Chen behind him.

“Your subject Geng Jing greets Your Majesty!”

“Your subject Ning Chen greets Your Majesty!”

The Xuan Emperor looked at Ning Chen, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly — and then he made his face stern again.

“Geng Jing. Rise.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty!”

Ning Chen was starting to rise along with him when he heard the Xuan Emperor say, “Ning Chen. Stay on your knees.”

Ning Chen’s head filled with question marks.

Christ… what’s going on here?

But there was nothing for it but to kneel obediently.

Geng Jing glanced at Ning Chen and pressed his lips together, not sorry to see it.

Eunuch Quan was hiding a smile too.

It seemed watching Ning Chen come off badly made everybody’s day.

The Xuan Emperor spoke slowly. “Ning Chen. Is the courtesans’ quarter enjoyable?”

Ning Chen’s heart jumped. So His Majesty is angry about the courtesans’ quarter after all.

But doesn’t he let the Inspectorate go there? Why come down on me?

Ning Chen answered honestly, “It was!”

Geng Jing and Eunuch Quan were both dumbstruck.

Can this fellow really not hear what His Majesty is actually saying?

The Xuan Emperor’s face froze. He was very angry indeed.

“Is that so? Then tell this emperor. Exactly how enjoyable?”

Ning Chen kept his honest face on. “Your Majesty, your subject found a girl at the courtesans’ quarter named Yudie… a face to overthrow cities and kingdoms, the loveliest thing under heaven, and gentle with it, and a pleasure to listen to.”

Then he raised his head and took a look at the Xuan Emperor.

The Xuan Emperor had been thoroughly angry, but the look in Ning Chen’s eyes threw him. The boy is looking at me with nothing but pity.

“Ning Chen. What is that look?”

Ning Chen thought about it. “Your subject’s heart aches for Your Majesty. Your subject thinks Your Majesty is much to be pitied.”

That one sentence drained the color out of Geng Jing’s and Eunuch Quan’s faces.

This fellow’s nerve is past all measure. He’d say His Majesty is to be pitied.

Far from being angry, the Xuan Emperor found it interesting.

“This emperor holds the world in his hands. What is there to pity?”

Ning Chen said, entirely serious, “Your Majesty, in letters you can take up a brush and settle the empire, and in arms you can mount a horse and set heaven and earth in order… In governance and in war there is no one to match you. Your work will stand a thousand years. Your Majesty is beyond question the one emperor of all the ages, an enlightened sovereign without equal.”

The corner of the Xuan Emperor’s mouth kept climbing, harder to hold down than the muzzle of an AK.

The boy’s flattery got him every time. It always left him comfortable and pleased.

“Enough flattery. This emperor asked you a question… What is there about him to pity?”

Ning Chen said, “Your Majesty holds ten thousand miles of territory, and yet Your Majesty has never laid eyes on a beautiful woman. It is grossly unfair to Your Majesty… Your subject believes that a man as fine as Your Majesty ought to wake to hold the power of the world in his hand, and lie down drunk with his head on a beautiful woman’s knee.”

Cold sweat broke out on Geng Jing and Eunuch Quan. Has something snapped in this fellow’s head? He’d tell His Majesty he has never seen a beautiful woman?

The Xuan Emperor could not hold it in. He laughed out loud.

“This emperor has three thousand beauties in his inner palace, and you dare tell him he has never seen a beautiful woman?”

Ning Chen thought a moment. “Your Majesty. May your subject speak the truth?”

Sincerity is the deadliest technique there is.

The Xuan Emperor laughed. “Speak. Or would you actually dare lie to this emperor’s face?”

“Your subject would not dare… Because once these words are out, they will offend a great many people. But for Your Majesty, your subject would walk through fire and boiling water, and ten thousand deaths would not stop him.”

The Xuan Emperor was still smiling, but he snorted all the same. “Less of the smooth talk. Out with it.”

Ning Chen said, “Your subject thinks… that Your Majesty’s women are each uglier than the last.”

The souls went clean out of Geng Jing and Eunuch Quan, and no amount of hauling would have got them back.

Ning Chen, this creature with nerve past all measure — those are His Majesty’s women, and he’d say they’re each uglier than the last?

At that, even the Xuan Emperor’s face went black.

“Ning Chen. Do you know what you are saying?”

“Your subject knows. But your subject is not willing to have Your Majesty kept in the dark, favoring ugly women every night while the ones who are truly beautiful wither away in some corner of this palace.”

The Xuan Emperor frowned. “What do you mean? Say it plainly.”

Ning Chen said, “Your Majesty. The daughters of the great and powerful come into the palace with money behind them and people behind them. A little spent in the right places, and every night, when Your Majesty turns the tablets, their tablet is sitting where Your Majesty cannot miss it.”

“The daughters of poor families have nothing to spend… and however beautiful they may be, Your Majesty never so much as sees their tablets. So they may grow old and die in this palace without laying eyes on Your Majesty once.”

The Xuan Emperor’s brows drew together. He glanced at Eunuch Quan. “Is what Ning Chen says true?”

Eunuch Quan dropped to his knees with a thud. “Your Majesty, this… this…”

From the way Eunuch Quan reacted, the Xuan Emperor knew that what Ning Chen had said was true.

“Quan Sheng. Have you been taking their silver as well?”

Eunuch Quan’s vision went dark with fright. “This servant would not dare. Your Majesty, look into it, I beg you!”

“Then you have known about this for a long time?”

Eunuch Quan said, shaking, “Reporting to Your Majesty… it is, it is an unwritten rule of the palace.”

“An unwritten rule? How is it this emperor has never heard of it?”

Eunuch Quan trembled where he knelt, wanting nothing in the world so much as to throttle Ning Chen. Have you nothing better to do? What did you have to tell His Majesty that for?

The Xuan Emperor was furious. It meant that of his three thousand beauties, the ones he favored every night were most likely the crooked ones, while the real beauties stayed hidden in the depths of this palace, aging by the day.

These accursed dogs had dared to deceive him about a thing like this. Every one of them deserved to die.

And they had gotten him laughed at by Ning Chen into the bargain — an emperor who had never seen a beautiful woman.

Ning Chen raised his head and looked at the Xuan Emperor, on the point of speaking, then stopped himself.

The Xuan Emperor glared at him. “Whatever it is, say it.”

Ning Chen put on a foolish grin. “Let Your Majesty’s anger cool. A small thing like this isn’t worth the temper… Your subject would gladly take Your Majesty to the courtesans’ quarter. The girls of the twelve houses are lovely as flowers, every one. Except for Nanzhi and Yudie, Your Majesty may take his pick. Your subject is paying.”

Geng Jing’s head was ringing. Has this fellow lost his mind? He means to take His Majesty out to walk the pleasure houses?

The corner of the Xuan Emperor’s mouth twitched hard, several times.

“Ning Chen. What sort of man do you take this emperor for?”

“A man! Your Majesty is honored as the Son of Heaven, but Your Majesty is also a man in good working order… The whole of the Great Xuan belongs to Your Majesty. A trip to the courtesans’ quarter isn’t asking much, surely?”

The Xuan Emperor blinked — and found, to his own surprise, that Ning Chen had a point.

Damn it. How can this emperor be thinking such a thing?

That wretched boy. He’s led me clean off the road.

“Ning Chen, enough of your nonsense.” Geng Jing’s forehead was running cold sweat and he broke in quickly, terrified of what else Ning Chen might come out with.

He snapped at Ning Chen, then brought the musket out from behind his back. “Your subject reports to Your Majesty. This is a new weapon Ning Chen has invented. Its sound is like a thunderclap and its power is astonishing. Your subject has brought it to present to Your Majesty.”

(End of Chapter 85)